What has happened to manners, respect and civility?

France is a beautiful country, and I will always love this country - let's just get that straight - however, there are a few issues here that I have discovered from personal experience that really just limit the possibilities of me ever giving France another chance as a place to live in.

There is a lack of manners in this country. There is a lack of respect, and to some extent there is a lack of civility. The list of examples that I am about to share with you could be argued that they would also happen in America, although I believe that many would agree with me that these things that happen in France are occurrences and are actually a fact of living here, they are not just things that could happen by chance every once in a while.

It is funny because when people think of France, at least this is what I was taught, they think of a sophisticated bourgeois group of people sitting around drinking wine, eating expensive cheese and talking about art and literature. Well, this is now the type of people that I think of. I think of people who push you over in a rush to get out of or onto the metro. I think of men who will not offer their seat to a pregnant woman or 80 year old woman. I think of people who will bump into you and not say a word, let alone an "excuse me." I think of lousy customer service. I think of people who don't stand up for another person who might've been treated less than human. I think of the fright that I have when I walk past a group of guys that very well could holler at me and not leave me alone. Or how about that fact that I can't even look at someone an smile without giving the invitation of 1) sex or 2) a fight. I know not every person who is French would be an example for each of these scenarios, I mean I have a french boyfriend who is wonderful, but in the past 7 months of being a French resident, I have witnessed or been the victim of each of these examples multiple times. It really is a shame that these things happen, but I think it is important to share these facts with people

Last night, something happened to me that scared me to death. I went to the cinema at the Institute Lumière for the opening night of a tribute to the American film director, Stanley Kubrick. They were showing the film, "The Shining," and it has been a plan for a while for me to go with my boyfriend and his friend. I, unfortunately, did not buy my ticket in time so I had to wait in a long line with the hopes that I could get a seat on the steps inside the theater. There were about 100 people in line and I was in the middle. After about 40 minutes of waiting, a guy and his friend walk up to where I am in line and place there bags on the outside of the retractable barrier. I thought to myself, "what the heck are these guys doing?" Anyway, about after 10-15 minutes, one of the guys comes back, moves the barrier outwards and then places himself in line right next to me. Nobody said a word! I wanted to immediately say something, but I was not comfortable enough in my French to say anything. It is so French of people to just ignore a situation like this and not stand up for themselves. I kept thinking over and over in my head, "what can I say, what can I say?" As I was mustering up my anger and courage to say something, the guy takes off his earphones and starts blasting his music in line. This is also something that people do here. It is extremely annoying and disrespectful to other's surroundings. This just got me even more irritated. Then the guy's friend decides to come back and the two of them, again, push out the barrier to make room for the second guy to cut it line. I was fed up and thought, you know what, I am going to stand up for myself and not let these guys take my place. I said to them, "Excuse me, you were not in front of me," and at that point, the guy next to me pushed me, with enough force that I fell back into the man behind me. This guy began yelling and cussing me out, saying words that I didn't understand, and I was so scared. Who knows what he could have done at that point!! I have seen guys this man's age with knives before on the metro. Once a man on the metro sliced another man's neck because the man was not comfortable with the fact that the other guy brought a ferret onto the metro! I mean, all I was thinking was this guy could stab me! The people around me really didn't do much. I was surrounded by a middle aged man, two young adult men and then two other young adults, a guy and a girl. They gasped when the man pushed me, but that was about it. The middle aged man let me pass in front of him, but even after that I could hear the man yelling and still cussing me out behind me. I texted my boyfriend who was in the theater during all this and let him know what happened and that I was really scared. I started crying, crying hard. The two guys in front of me comforted me, said "Don't cry, he won't touch you. Here, go in front of us," but still I was really scared. Romain, my boyfriend, came out and was livid, wanted to know who did that to me. But I didn't want to make a scene because I didn't want him to get hurt. Romain told the people who worked there what happened and asked for security, but the theater had no security!!! What public event doesn't have security!?

To wrap it up, the man who harassed me successfully got into the theater, but was a nuisance. He made such a disruption that when someone told him to "shhh," that set him off again. The theater had to pause the movie and turn the house lights on. Everyone in the theater was standing and yelling at this guy. The guy tried to attack another man about four rows down until a few spectators grabbed that man and dragged him out. Romain called the police, but they were already on there way. At the end of the movie, the theater told us that there was security now placed outside and that the police took the man away. After he was finally gone, I felt a little better.

But what is wrong with people!? I mean, sure, this could potentially happen in America, but you got to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, you know what I mean? If someone cuts in front of you in line back home, people will say something, not just one person, but people! Why was I the only one to stand up for myself? And then what is wrong with the man that would make such a fit about me addressing that he cut in line to actually push a 23 year old girl!! It was like he wanted to fight me!!! In that scenario, that man had no manners, no respect and did not know how to act civil. I am not saying that this will happen to everyone who comes to France, but you do need to be careful. You must be careful at who you look at here. You must look careful at what you say to people here and you must be cautious of the distance that you keep from people because the likelihood of them snapping or harassing you is a lot higher.